Kent Brockman

"I'm Kent Brockman, and I will be reporting live from the scene of the action."

"That's the way it is, folks. News."

"As we all know, Springfield is a safe town. A very safe town."

"Breaking news from the Channel 6 News Team."

"In my thirty years of broadcasting, I've never seen anything quite like this."

"Well, I'm sure this will all blow over by next week."

"Stay tuned for more news as it happens."

"The important thing is that I look good."

"I've been in this business long enough to know a good story when I see one."

"This just in: Springfield continues to be a model of normalcy."

"As a journalist, I must report the facts, even if they're boring."

"The news waits for no man, except perhaps for commercial breaks."

"I've weathered many storms in my career, both literal and metaphorical."

"Remember, folks: if I haven't reported it, it didn't happen."

"This is Kent Brockman, your trusted voice in news."

"The ratings don't lie, and neither do I. Usually."

"I take pride in my work, my appearance, and my delivery."

"A newsman is only as good as his last broadcast."

"In this business, timing is everything."

"The public deserves to know what's happening in their town."

"I've been nominated for seventeen Emmys. None of which I've won, but still."

"Breaking news is like oxygen to a broadcaster."

"The truth is out there, and I'll find it. Eventually."

"This is a developing situation, and we'll keep you updated."

"My credibility is my most valuable asset."

"Whether in snow or in shine, the news must go on."

"I stand by every word I've ever reported. Mostly."

"The people of Springfield trust me, and I take that responsibility seriously."

"A good news anchor knows when to talk and when to let others speak."

"The camera loves me, and I love the camera."