Kent Brockman

"The people of this town depend on me for their information."

"I've been through thick and thin, usually with good hair gel."

"The news is the backbone of democracy, and I am its spine."

"Success in broadcasting comes down to three things: timing, looks, and talent."

"I report what I see, and I see a lot because I'm very observant."

"The job of a newsman is to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable."

"I've never let the truth get in the way of a good story."

"My legacy will be one of journalistic integrity and impeccable fashion."

"The future of news is bright, as long as I'm the one reporting it."

"I approach each broadcast with the seriousness it deserves, which is considerable."

"The news is a mirror held up to society, and I am the mirror."

"I've learned that in this business, you have to believe in yourself."

"Breaking news is what gets people out of their chairs and to their TVs."

"As a newsman, I've learned that every story has two sides. I just show the one I like."

"The role of the press is to speak truth to power, though I prefer speaking to cameras."

"I've covered everything from triumphs to tragedies to traffic reports."

"The news business is unpredictable, unlike my perfectly coiffed hair."

"I believe that with great microphone comes great responsibility."

"The truth will set you free, but my reporting will set you entertained."

"In my years at Channel 6, I've become a fixture of the community."

"The news cycle is relentless, and so am I."

"I've always believed that the news should be delivered with style and substance."

"My job is to inform, enlighten, and look good doing it."

"The camera is my best friend, and it has never let me down."

"I report the news, but I also report myself. Constantly."

"Success in broadcasting means always being ready for your close-up."

"The people trust me because I trust myself. Implicitly."

"I've learned that the best stories are the ones that make people talk."

"The news is my passion, and my passion is showing."

"In the end, we're all just trying to leave our mark on the world. Mine is in ratings."