The Simpsons

"I can't believe I'm saying this but... Ned Flanders was right."

"When will I learn? The answer is never."

"I'm a man! And a man does what he has to do!"

"With great power comes great responsibility. Or something."

"Remember you're the man of the house and I'm just the wife."

"I tried my best. That's all that matters."

"It takes two to make a thing go right."

"I'm not always right, but I'm never wrong."

"I have seven kids, two dead wives, and I'm on my fourth wife. I'm thinking of trying women."

"That'll show 'em!"

"I'm gonna spend the rest of the day doing what I do best: nothing."

"You're the man now, dog."

"See, this is why nobody respects me."

"I'd trade it all for a donut."

"Lenny, what do you think?"

"If I don't like something, I change it. If I don't like myself, I change myself."

"All right, all right, I did do everything that's illegal in a five-block radius."

"You know what I'd like? A nice warm sack to lie in."

"I'm not a bad dad. I'm a dad with bad kids."

"I've done everything the Bible says, even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff."

"Your mother is overweight."

"This job makes me feel like I'm gonna have a heart attack."

"I should've known I'd never win an award. I'm a puffed-out, middle-aged man."

"Now that's a tasty burger! Vincent Vega wouldn't say that, but I will."

"I'm not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"

"The code doesn't say I can't do it. The code doesn't say I CAN'T do it."

"Ah, I have three kids and no money. Why can't I have no kids and three money?"

"I like the beer best."

"This is the best drinking buddy I've ever had."

"I'm not a big fan of the outdoors. Too many trees, not enough TVs."