Edna Krabappel

"I'm not a bad teacher, I'm just exhausted and underpaid."

"Another day, another chance to disappoint myself."

"Love is what happens when you're too tired to say no."

"Wisdom is knowing when to pour the wine and when to drink it."

"My happiness ended around 1987."

"Success? That's for people with ambition and functioning livers."

"Friends are just people you haven't disappointed yet."

"Family is an institution I'd like to be institutionalized to escape from."

"Hope is the last thing that dies, usually from neglect."

"Courage is just fear that hasn't had enough bourbon yet."

"Change is what happens when you stop trying to stay the same."

"Education: the art of filling empty vessels with more emptiness."

"Knowledge is power, but I prefer ignorance and a drink."

"Time flies when you're having fun; it crawls when you're grading papers."

"The truth? Overrated. Give me a comforting lie instead."

"Freedom is just another word for running out of excuses."

"Peace is what you find at the bottom of a martini glass."

"Nature is pretty, I suppose, if you like that sort of thing."

"Art is my passion, right after giving up."

"Science explains everything except why I'm still teaching."

"Music is wonderful—especially when it drowns out my thoughts."

"Faith is believing things will get better, despite all evidence to the contrary."

"Leadership is telling other people what to do while avoiding responsibility."

"Work is what you do to afford the things that make life bearable."

"Dreams are what you have when you fall asleep at your desk."

"Humor is the only honest response to existence."

"Beauty fades, but cynicism is eternal."

"Death is probably not as depressing as parent-teacher conferences."

"Perseverance is just stubbornness with a nicer name."

"I'd be grateful if everyone would just leave me alone."