The Simpsons

"I want to share something with you: the fact that you're a bad person."

"Donuts is the sincerest form of love."

"I'm not a bad person, I just don't care."

"Marge, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires!"

"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand."

"If Bart had feelings, he'd be hurt by that."

"I'm in love with the crunchy, munchy, candy-wand-cookie!"

"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is: never try."

"I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals fla-aming."

"Responsible fishing is leaving enough fish to breed."

"How is education supposed to make me feel smarter besides occasionally stopping me from saying dumb things?"

"I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!"

"As long as I'm eating, no one can talk to me."

"Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals."

"Facts are meaningless. You can use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true."

"Every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain."

"I'm not a bad guy, I'm just a guy who does bad stuff."

"Trying is the first step toward failure."

"You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris? Just kidding, I don't care."

"If something is hard to do, then it's not worth doing."

"Marge, you're the only woman ever."

"I have misplaced my pants."

"The code is more what you'd call guidelines than actual rules."

"You don't need a parachute to skydive. You need a parachute to skydive twice."

"Woo-hoo!"

"I'm trying very hard to care, but I'm not."

"To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

"Mmm... donuts."

"Why you little..."

"D'oh!"