Louise Belcher

"I'm not a regular mom, I'm a cool mom. Wait, wrong show."

"Uuuuuh, this is my life now."

"I have a buttload of dreams and they're all business-related."

"You know what? I'm going to start a detective agency. Louise's Legitimate Business Investigations."

"Dad jokes are the worst, but I love my dad anyway."

"Sometimes you have to take risks to get what you want."

"I didn't think that through, but I'm committed now."

"Being cool is 90% confidence and 10% having the right ears."

"Friends don't let friends wear uncool things."

"Life's too short to not eat good food."

"I'm going to make a million dollars and retire."

"The key to success is being mysterious and slightly threatening."

"I believe in myself, even when nobody else does."

"You can't put a price on adventure."

"My ears are not just for hearing, they're a statement."

"I don't follow rules, I make them."

"Being honest is boring, but sometimes necessary."

"I'm not scared of anything, except maybe my parents."

"School is for learning, but life is for scheming."

"Time is a resource, and I'm investing mine wisely."

"I appreciate the little things, like when plans actually work out."

"Creating chaos is an art form."

"Fair is fair, and unfair should be punished."

"Good things come to those who wait, but better things come to those who scheme."

"I try to be kind, but I'm mostly just sarcastic."

"Strength is knowing when to ask for help."

"Power corrupts, but having power is fun."

"Health is important, but cheeseburgers are more important."

"Everything changes, and you just have to roll with it."

"Knowledge is power, especially when nobody else knows it."