Maris Crane

"Marriage is an institution I've chosen to observe from afar."

"The lower classes always manage to disappoint me."

"I find spontaneity absolutely terrifying."

"One must never settle for second best."

"I'm far too sensitive for most social situations."

"Vulgarity is the refuge of the inarticulate."

"I've developed a rather extensive list of phobias."

"Time spent with inferiors is time wasted."

"I find most people's hobbies to be tediously mundane."

"One cannot overstate the importance of proper breeding."

"I've always believed that suffering builds character."

"The very thought of flying makes me physically ill."

"I require at least eight hours of beauty sleep."

"Most relationships are doomed from the start."

"I find democratic processes utterly exhausting."

"One should never trust anyone who isn't well-educated."

"I've never had any interest in physical labor."

"The modern world has no appreciation for sophistication."

"I find gratitude to be a sign of weakness."

"One must always maintain an air of superiority."

"I've suffered from numerous psychological ailments."

"Television is the refuge of the intellectually bankrupt."

"I find most music to be merely noise."

"One should never associate with the financially disadvantaged."

"I've developed an allergy to virtually everything."

"Most people lack the capacity for abstract thought."

"I find nature to be rather uncivilized and untidy."

"Change is something I actively resist with every fiber of my being."

"I've never understood the appeal of casual dining."

"One must never admit to uncertainty."