Mark Twain

"An uneasy conscience is a hair in the mouth."

"Education is the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty."

"When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear."

"The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why."

"The art of prophecy is very difficult especially with respect to the future."

"Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."

"It were not best that we should all think alike."

"Cautiousness is not cowardice; rather it is an expression of wisdom."

"Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she has laid an asteroid."

"Names are not always what they seem."

"Drag your thoughts away from your troubles by the ears, by the hair, or any other way you can manage it."

"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get."

"The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read."

"The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice."

"Familiarity breeds contempt and children."

"Cautiousness is not cowardice."

"By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who knows he's wrong."

"I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened."

"The man who does not read lives only one life."

"A lie can travel around the world before the truth gets its boots on."

"Let us be thankful for the fools."

"Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions."

"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."

"The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time."

"Don't let schooling interfere with your education."

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."

"The true secret of giving is this: as you give, you live."

"Classic: a book which people praise and don't read."

"Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits."

"Forbid a man anything and that is the thing he will desire."