Mark Twain

"The only truly happy people are children and the insane."

"The secret of getting ahead is getting started."

"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."

"The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read."

"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."

"The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time."

"Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."

"Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside."

"The lack of money is the root of all evil."

"Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."

"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."

"Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."

"The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why."

"Wagner's music is better than it sounds."

"The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow."

"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get."

"The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read."

"To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence."

"Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul."

"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."

"The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated."

"A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read."

"Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed."

"Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."

"The art of successful living lies not in doing what you like to do but in liking what you have to do."

"Buy land, they're not making it anymore."

"Familiarity breeds contempt—and children."

"I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting."

"The man who does not read has no more advantage over the man who cannot read than the man who hears has over the man who is deaf."