Mike Royko

"Every man has his price, but not every man knows what his price is."

"The great thing about being a writer is that you get to make up the rules as you go along."

"Love is temporary insanity."

"The measure of a man is what he does with power."

"Never underestimate the intelligence of a fool."

"A good newspaper is like a good conversation—you learn something new and it entertains you."

"The worst thing about giving advice is that nobody takes it."

"People are basically good, but they sometimes do bad things."

"Success is not about being better than someone else, but being better than you were."

"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."

"A true friend is someone who knows all your faults and still likes you anyway."

"Money won't buy happiness, but it will buy beer, which is almost as good."

"The biggest lie we tell ourselves is that we'll change tomorrow."

"Courage is not the absence of fear but doing the right thing despite it."

"Education teaches you to pass tests; wisdom teaches you to pass through life."

"Every generation thinks the next one is going to hell in a handbasket."

"The trouble with most people is they think too much about what they want and not enough about what they have."

"A writer's job is to tell the truth, even when nobody wants to hear it."

"The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago; the second best time is now."

"People don't fail because they lack ability; they fail because they lack will."

"Chicago makes New York look like a small town."

"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has limits."

"A good argument is one where both sides are willing to listen."

"The real crime is not in breaking the law but in breaking a promise."

"You can't go home again because home is always changing."

"Imagination is more important than intelligence, and far more rare."

"The best defense is a good offense, and the best offense is honesty."

"A man without a sense of humor is like a day without sunshine."

"The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about."

"Beauty fades, but good humor is forever."