Mike Royko

"Science gives us tools; wisdom tells us when to use them."

"Music is what words fail to express."

"Peace comes from accepting what you can't change."

"Education is the only investment that can't be taken away."

"Knowledge without character is just dangerous equipment."

"Time is the one thing everyone squanders equally."

"Freedom isn't given—it's taken by those brave enough to demand it."

"Hope is what we hold onto when logic says to quit."

"Happiness is a verb, not a destination."

"Family are the people who forgive you even when they shouldn't."

"Success without integrity is just expensive crime."

"Life is too short to spend it being someone else's definition of normal."

"The reason there are two senators from each state is so that one can be a crook and the other can be a drunk, and the people will have representation."

"Never trust a man who doesn't drink beer."

"Chicago is an October sort of city even in spring."

"The Polish are not stupid. They are just Poles."

"No self-respecting fish would want to be dropped in a pool where so many teeth are gnashing."

"A good family is nature's masterpiece."

"It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf."

"The main problem with the American character is that we are a competitive people who prefer not to lose, and being competitive, we sometimes stray from the rules."

"In this world, the real wealth is measured in column inches."

"A man who finds no satisfaction in himself will seek for it in vain elsewhere."

"The difference between a cop and a crook is often just a pair of shoes."

"Youth is wasted on the young because they don't know what to do with it."

"Most Americans are honest, but a surprising number of them are not."

"The power of the press is great, but not so great as the power of the suppress."

"A tavern is a place where people gather to forget their problems or to create new ones."

"The best thing about living in Chicago is that you know where you stand—usually in a puddle."

"Common sense is not so common."

"A politician is someone who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after."