Mike Royko

"The press is supposed to be the watchdog of freedom, but sometimes it just barks at itself."

"You can't have a conversation with someone who already knows they're right."

"Life is too short to spend it working for something you don't believe in."

"The worst prison is a job you hate and a home you dread."

"People will forgive you for almost anything if you make them laugh."

"The measure of a man is how he treats the waiter, not the boss."

"Success is just failure that went unnoticed."

"You don't really understand a place until you've drunk its whiskey."

"The system works fine if you're the one running it."

"The rain in Chicago doesn't fall—it attacks."

"Never trust a man who doesn't drink beer."

"Taxes are what we pay for civilization, but Chicago never got the message."

"You can take the boy out of Chicago, but you can't take Chicago out of the boy."

"A good newspaper is a nation talking to itself."

"The problem with Chicago is that it's full of Chicagoans."

"People are basically decent. Sometimes they just need reminding."

"Corruption is the grease that makes Chicago run."

"Never underestimate the power of a good hot dog and honest conversation."

"Chicago winters build character or destroy it—there's no middle ground."

"The best stories come from regular people doing irregular things."

"Money doesn't buy happiness, but it buys a better class of misery."

"A writer's job is to tell the truth, even when it hurts."

"We're all just trying to get through the day without too much damage."

"Success is knowing when to stop talking and start listening."

"Chicago doesn't forgive weakness, but it respects guts."

"The real crime isn't what makes the headlines—it's what's ignored."

"Good friends are like good neighborhoods—hard to find and worth fighting for."

"Change happens when ordinary people get fed up."

"A columnist's power is in naming what everyone knows but won't say."

"Love is what remains when the passion fades."