Mike Royko

"A newspaper should comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable."

"The common man has more sense than all the politicians combined."

"Marriage is like a deck of cards—you start with two hearts and a diamond, but by the end you're looking for a club and a spade."

"You learn more from your failures than your successes."

"Never underestimate the power of a good meal and honest conversation."

"The biggest con artists in the world wear three-piece suits and sit in corner offices."

"A writer's job is to tell the truth, even when it hurts."

"People are basically decent, but institutions corrupt them."

"The secret to happiness is not wanting what you don't have."

"Chicago will always surprise you, usually not in a good way."

"Good journalism is about making the powerful uncomfortable."

"You can't buy class, you can only rent it temporarily."

"The difference between a democracy and a dictatorship is just timing."

"A real friend tells you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear."

"The human condition is basically absurd, so you might as well laugh."

"Never trust anyone who says they have all the answers."

"Work is what you do to avoid thinking about your life."

"The only immortality most of us get is through our kids."

"Money can't buy happiness, but poverty can certainly buy misery."

"Authority hates criticism because it can't answer with force."

"The best stories come from the people nobody's paying attention to."

"Change is inevitable, but progress is optional."

"You can tell a lot about a person by how they treat someone who can't do anything for them."

"The truth is usually more interesting than fiction, if you dig deep enough."

"A man without a sense of humor is like a car without shock absorbers."

"The establishment fears informed citizens more than anything else."

"Real courage is standing alone against the crowd."

"The city doesn't care about your dreams—it just wants you to pay your rent."

"Nostalgia is just sadness dressed up in nice memories."

"Never underestimate the intelligence of ordinary people or overestimate the intelligence of the powerful."