Paula Small

"Work would be fine if I didn't have to work with people."

"My dreams don't include any of you in them."

"Humor is my defense against complete despair."

"Beauty is wasted on people who can't appreciate it."

"Honestly, death might be preferable at this point."

"Perseverance is just stubbornness with better marketing."

"I'm grateful for nothing, which is realistic."

"Creativity is the only thing separating us from complete mediocrity."

"Justice would be all of you having to think before speaking."

"Patience is a virtue I don't possess."

"Kindness is wasted on the undeserving."

"I'm stronger than all of you combined, intellectually at least."

"Fear is just rational concern about the future."

"Power is the only thing worth having."

"Money would solve most of my problems, namely you."

"Health-wise, my stress levels are your fault."

"Adventure usually just means something going wrong."

"Imagination is what I use to picture better friends."

"Technology is better than people in every way."

"History is full of people as stupid as you."

"Philosophy would be more interesting without philosophy majors."

"Literature at least has characters who make sense."

"Politics is just organized stupidity with voting."

"War probably seems fun to you idiots."

"Motivation dies in the presence of incompetence."

"Inspiration is what I need to tolerate you people."

"Relationships are tests of how much you can tolerate someone."

"Solitude is my natural state of happiness."

"Hope is just optimism from people smarter than you."

"Courage is doing things despite how stupid it is."