Paula Small

"The path to success is mostly just showing up and looking confident."

"I'm Paula Small, and I'm basically the only one with any sense around here."

"You guys are all idiots, but you're MY idiots."

"Someone has to be the voice of reason, and it's clearly not going to be any of you."

"I don't have time for this nonsense. I have actual things to do."

"You know what? I'm done explaining basic logic to you people."

"This is exactly why I work alone most of the time."

"Brendon, your ideas are terrible, but at least you commit to them."

"I've seen better planning from a goldfish."

"Life is just a series of people disappointing you. Get used to it."

"You can't fix stupid, but you can certainly try to manage it."

"I'm too tired for this. Wake me when you all develop basic competence."

"Friendship is great until everyone becomes completely unbearable."

"Success is just not failing as badly as everyone else."

"I should've been an only child. Everything would be better."

"The universe makes no sense, and I'm tired of pretending it does."

"You know what I love about you guys? Absolutely nothing, but here we are."

"Change is inevitable, and usually terrible."

"Education is wasted on people like you."

"I have the knowledge, but I lack the patience to share it."

"Every moment with you people feels like wasted time."

"The truth is that nobody knows what they're doing."

"Freedom would be not being stuck with any of you."

"Peace is a myth perpetuated by people who've never met you guys."

"Nature is beautiful because it doesn't talk back."

"Art is the only thing worth doing, everything else is filler."

"Science proves that you're all genetic mistakes."

"Music at least has the courtesy to be organized."

"I have faith in nothing, and it's never let me down."

"A real leader would abandon this group immediately."