Paula Small

"Power is what you have when people have to listen to you."

"Motivation is believing you can do something, so I just lie to myself a lot."

"Inspiration is when someone else's idea seems kind of okay."

"Relationships are basically just two people agreeing to be miserable together."

"Solitude is wonderful, which is why I avoid people."

"Leadership is just being willing to take the blame when things go wrong."

"I think the problem with people is that they exist and expect things from you."

"The best part about getting older is that fewer people expect you to care."

"I've never met a problem that couldn't be solved by avoiding it long enough."

"If at first you don't succeed, maybe that's a sign you shouldn't."

"The meaning of life is probably something stupid, so why bother looking."

"I believe in being honest, unless honesty would make things worse, which it usually does."

"Success is just failure that marketed itself better."

"The secret to happiness is having low expectations and lower standards."

"I'm not anti-social, I'm pro-solitude."

"Wisdom is realizing that most things don't matter, and neither do you."

"The only thing worse than failing is trying again."

"I appreciate art that confuses people, which is why I make confusing art."

"Literature is just dead people making you feel bad about yourself."

"Politics is a sport for people who want to ruin other people's lives professionally."

"War is basically just politics with better special effects."

"The future looks terrible, which is why I focus on the present, which is also terrible."

"I don't understand people who enjoy being around other people."

"Love is mostly just being too lazy to leave."

"The best defense is a good offense, but I usually just use deflection."

"If you want to be happy, just want less."

"I think I'm creative, which is just another way of saying I don't follow rules."

"Time management is something I would do if I cared about time."

"Education teaches you how to think like everyone else, which is depressing."

"Knowledge is useful, but ignorance really is more fun."