Paula Small

"I'm grateful for sarcasm because it lets me be mean without consequences."

"Creativity is what happens when you're too lazy to do things the normal way."

"Justice is whoever has the better lawyer or the louder voice."

"I have infinite patience for things that don't directly affect me."

"Kindness to others is kindness to my future self who might need a favor."

"What doesn't kill you makes you more interesting at parties."

"Fear is just adrenaline looking for an outlet."

"Power is deciding who has to listen to your problems."

"I'd rather be broke and happy than rich and anxious... just kidding, give me money."

"Health is something I worry about just enough to feel guilty."

"Adventure is what you call your mistakes if they turn out okay."

"Imagination is my superpower, which is why I'm unsuccessful in reality."

"I hate technology until it breaks, then I hate my life."

"History is fascinating until you realize it's just people being terrible."

"Philosophy is thinking really hard about things you'll never understand."

"Books are friends who don't judge you for eating in bed."

"Politics would be less irritating if I didn't have to live with the results."

"War is peace written in a different language."

"I'm motivated by deadlines and spite, mostly deadlines."

"Inspiration is just procrastination that worked out."

"Relationships require compromise, which is why I prefer being alone."

"Solitude is peaceful until your brain starts making fun of you."

"I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I'm also not saying I'm not."

"Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans to avoid life."

"The key to success is pretending you know what you're doing until you actually do."

"I've learned that friendship is basically just tolerating someone else's existence."

"Love is like a really bad decision that feels good for a while."

"Happiness is finding someone who annoys you less than everyone else."

"The truth is, I'm making this up as I go along."

"Change is inevitable, which is why I'm staying exactly the same."