Pierce Hawthorne

"Creativity is just rearranging other people's ideas."

"Justice is blind, but accountants have perfect vision."

"Patience is a virtue I've never had time for."

"Kindness is wonderful until it costs you money."

"Strength comes from knowing your net worth."

"Fear is just an opportunity to sell something."

"Power is not about being liked; it's about being feared."

"Money doesn't buy happiness, but it rents it pretty well."

"Health is wealth you can't hide in offshore accounts."

"Adventure is better when you can afford a good lawyer."

"Imagination is wonderful for children; ambition is for adults."

"Technology should serve the wealthy first."

"History is written by those with the best publicists."

"Philosophy without profit is just daydreaming."

"Literature: great for building a library that impresses guests."

"Politics is the art of getting what you want while appearing noble."

"War is terrible, but military defense stocks are fantastic."

"Motivation comes from knowing you're better than everyone else."

"Inspiration struck when I realized how much money I could make."

"Relationships are transactional; understand the terms."

"Solitude is underrated until you realize you're alone with your thoughts."

"I believe in a lot of things—stocks, bonds, and my own superiority."

"The key to happiness is surrounding yourself with people who agree with you."

"Success is a journey, and I'm first class all the way."

"Family is important, but not as important as my reputation."

"Hope is what ordinary people have; I have a financial advisor."

"I've never met a problem money couldn't solve."

"Courage is doing what's right, unless it's expensive."

"The older you get, the more you realize youth is wasted on the young."

"Love is a beautiful illusion that fades after about three years."