Sideshow Bob

"Peace is merely the absence of my current plans for revenge."

"Nature provides endless inspiration for torture devices and elaborate traps."

"Music soothes the savage beast, though I prefer the sound of suffering."

"Science has given us many gifts, primarily in the field of weaponry."

"Philosophy teaches us that morality is subjective and revenge is eternal."

"Literature's greatest gift is showing us the tragic flaws in our enemies."

"Every setback is merely a setup for an even more elaborate comeback."

"Gratitude is a virtue, though revenge is far more satisfying."

"Creativity flourishes when one has unlimited time in a cell to plan."

"Leadership requires the respect of those around you, or at least their fear."

"Work ethic matters, especially when one's work is elaborate criminal scheming."

"Dreams are the foundation of ambition, nightmares are the foundation of revenge."

"Humor is the best medicine, unless the cure is actually rat poison."

"Money is useful, but it pales in comparison to the wealth of vengeance."

"Health is important for longevity, particularly in the execution of long-term revenge."

"Adventure awaits those brave enough to pursue their darkest desires."

"Imagination is the only limit, and I have a very unimaginative imagination."

"Technology is a tool for progress, or for creating more efficient traps."

"History is written by the victors, and I plan to be victorious."

"Politics is the art of manipulation, a skill I've perfected in prison."

"War teaches us valuable lessons about strategy, timing, and complete annihilation."

"Motivation comes from within, particularly from deep wells of resentment."

"Inspiration strikes when you least expect it, like during a life sentence."

"The strength of a man is measured not by his muscles, but by his grudges."

"Fear is a tool, particularly fear of what I might do next."

"Power corrupts, absolutely, and I am absolutely corrupt."

"Patience is a virtue I've perfected during my many years of incarceration."

"Kindness is overrated when cruelty achieves your goals far more effectively."

"Solitude in a cell provides endless time for contemplation and scheming."

"Family bonds are meaningful, especially when breaking them provides revenge."