Squidward Tentacles

"This is my last straw. I'm going insane."

"One day, all this will be mine."

"I'm ready to quit my job."

"SpongeBob, you're a doofus, but you're a doofus I respect."

"Tartar sauce! That's the evilest thing I've ever said."

"Nobody understands my artistic vision."

"I don't care about money. I care about being better than everyone."

"Living with SpongeBob is like being neighbors with a tornado."

"The only good thing about living in a pineapple under the sea is that it's away from SpongeBob."

"Why must I be surrounded by morons?"

"I declare today the day I move away from this nightmare."

"My clarinet is my only true friend."

"People are idiots."

"SpongeBob is out of his mind and I'm stuck with him."

"I've lost all faith in humanity."

"That's it! I've had it with this job!"

"Every day is a new torture chamber."

"Why is life so difficult?"

"I'm the only rational being in this entire world."

"One day I'll get a better job and leave this all behind."

"My self-esteem is at an all-time low, and that's saying something."

"I wish I had never been born."

"The universe is against me."

"SpongeBob's optimism is sickening."

"I need peace and quiet away from these lunatics."

"Music is the only language that matters."

"No one appreciates true artistry anymore."

"I'm destined for greatness, not this mediocrity."

"Existence is pain."

"They wouldn't know culture if it hit them in the face."