Squidward Tentacles

"Working with idiots is my punishment."

"I dream of escape, but never achieve it."

"Humor is the enemy of sophistication."

"Beauty exists only in art and music."

"Death would be preferable to this."

"I persist only because I must."

"I'm grateful for nothing."

"My creativity is stifled by my surroundings."

"Justice would be SpongeBob's absence."

"Waiting for change is futile."

"Education separates the cultured from the barbaric."

"My family never prepared me for this."

"Hope is the first step toward disappointment."

"I have no courage left to spend."

"Imagination is my only comfort."

"Music speaks what words cannot."

"Technology has made civilization worse."

"History proves that suffering is eternal."

"Philosophy is just educated complaining."

"I'll persevere through this misery for my art."

"I'm not a loser, I'm just surrounded by them."

"That's what I love about these people - they just keep trying."

"Couldn't you have chosen a name that didn't rhyme with mine?"

"I think I'm feeling something... yes, it's a stroke."

"The only thing worse than having a bad name is being neighbors with SpongeBob."

"I'm not angry, I'm just... perpetually disappointed."

"Art is wasted on these barbarians."

"Sometimes I think the only sensible thing to do is go insane."

"This is the kind of suffering I deserve."

"Why do they call it a TV set? There's only one."