The Narrator

"It is often better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness, although the results are much the same."

"Multiple exclamation marks are a sure sign of a diseased mind."

"The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money. That made them richer."

"It never has been possible to stop the lower classes from dying."

"Humans are the only things that think they're thinking."

"The world is full of people who want to explain things to you."

"Dragons are not real, and that's the important thing."

"There's no business like dragon business."

"Dwarves are traditionally good at counting things."

"Trolls are stupid. This is considered to be a scientific fact."

"In the dark, all colours are black."

"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"

"The reason that the poor were so poor was because they were poor."

"A lie can run around the world before the truth has got its boots on."

"The best lies are the ones people want to believe."

"Some humans would do anything for money."

"A true dwarf never forgets a debt."

"The troll's idea of a sophisticated drink is a bottle of sulfuric acid with an olive in it."

"History is merely the story the victors tell."

"You don't get a city like Ankh-Morpork without some mess."

"You need to understand the rules before you can break them effectively."

"The best lies contain an element of truth."

"A dragon is a dragon, no matter what you call it."

"The poor will always be with us, unfortunately."

"People are basically terrible, but occasionally nice."

"You can't make an omelette without breaking eggs."

"The city is alive, and it has its own rules."

"There is always a choice, even when there doesn't seem to be one."

"A man can't serve two masters equally well."

"When you're at the bottom, the only way is up."