Will Rogers

"Great pools of talent are wasted because they are not recognized."

"You cannot grow a beard in the time it takes to shave one off."

"Everything humorous is subconsciously tragic."

"The minute you read something and you can't believe it, that's the minute you've come to understand the world."

"A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth."

"More than half of our national expenditure goes to past wars and preparations for future ones."

"People's minds are changed through observation and not through argument."

"A man that don't love a horse, there's something the matter with him."

"When the Pilgrims landed, they fell upon their knees, and the Pilgrims fell upon the Aborigines."

"Heroes is something we can't make, and anybody that tries to tell you how to be one is not one himself."

"The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you."

"There ought to be one day a year just for Americans to thank the farmers."

"Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches."

"Every time Congress meets, it costs me money."

"The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has."

"The problem with political jokes is they get elected."

"Everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die."

"If there are no dogs in heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."

"Learning to help yourself is the big point right now in this world."

"The trouble with practical jokes is that they are liable to break down and become practical facts."

"You know, if I owned all the air that the average man talks in a day, I could fly to the moon."

"We are here for one purpose: to live and let others live."

"An investment in knowledge pays the best interest."

"We are here just for a spell and then pass on. So don't people take it serious, a good laugh is a mighty fine thing."

"A man will tackle any job if he has time to figure out his wages first."

"The trouble with us is we don't know what we want, but we are willing to fight to the death to get it."

"Once in the history of mankind there is a great discontent with the way things are going on."

"Everybody knows what the situation is, only a few know the solution."

"I have made it a rule in my life never to advocate anything I have tried."

"What the American people want is progress, but not too fast."