Will Rogers

"Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."

"The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has."

"Most people are ignorant, but not all of it is their fault."

"There are three kinds of men: the ones that learn by reading, the few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to pee on the electric fence."

"Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke."

"We are here just for a spell and then pass on. So don't people realize it's foolish to think they can take it with them."

"The difference between a democracy and a dictatorship is that in a democracy you vote first and take orders later."

"I never met a man I didn't like, but I've read many."

"Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth."

"No nation ever had four and a half million people unemployed and continued to build battleships."

"Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip."

"The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it."

"Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we've saved."

"Ignorance must be bliss, because some people seem to enjoy it."

"When the Okies blow away, we'll all be in the same boat."

"The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it if they'd stay there."

"Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities."

"There ought to be one day—just one—when there is open season on senators."

"To get the real lowdown on anybody, go to the opposite political party."

"A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people."

"Investment in knowledge always pays the best interest."

"The trouble with practical jokes is that so often they get practical."

"I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat."

"All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance."

"My ancestors didn't come over on the Mayflower, but they were here to meet the boat."

"The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other."

"The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you."

"You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is."

"Half of America's millionaires made their fortunes in real estate, and the other half lost their shirts in it."

"Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back."