Zoidberg

"Death would be a relief, but I'm probably too disgusting to kill."

"Success for me is simply making it through a day unmolested."

"Change is coming—I can feel it in my seventeen stomachs."

"Education never taught me how to handle social ostracism."

"Time heals all wounds, except social reputation damage."

"Truth is, I'm not as bad as everyone assumes... okay, maybe I am."

"Freedom would be lovely if I were welcomed anywhere."

"Peace comes from acceptance that you'll never fit in."

"Nature made me an apex predator—humans made me a social pariah."

"Art is my expression of the pain within my seventeen stomachs."

"Science interests me greatly, particularly the study of rejection."

"Music is soothing, though my mating calls clear rooms instantly."

"Faith sustains me through another day of being avoided."

"Leadership would be easier without everyone refusing to follow."

"Work at Planet Express is better than nothing, which is what I had before."

"Humor masks the deep existential dread of my existence."

"Gratitude fills my heart for those who don't flee immediately."

"Justice would be everyone appreciating my medical knowledge equally."

"Power is mine through amputation and amputation-related procedures."

"Money can't buy love, but it could buy better anti-rejection equipment."

"Health is a privilege of species that don't disgust everyone."

"My courage lies in continuing despite being deemed revolting."

"Hope springs eternal—stupidly, it springs eternal in me."

"Wha... why is my love life worse than my credit score?"

"I'm not a robot, I'm a Decapodian. There's a difference... mostly in the tentacles."

"Why must we hurt the ones we love by existing near them?"

"Perhaps I'll find love among the stars... or at least some free food."

"My people taught me that suffering builds character. I must be amazing."

"Is there any wisdom in a life lived mostly underwater and mostly confused?"

"I've learned that most of my problems come from my own stupidity, which means I can fix them!"