Quote by Rodney Dangerfield
"My wife said, you're either going to quit drinking or I'm going to leave you. I said, okay, I'll quit drinking. She left anyway."
More from Rodney Dangerfield
"I don't get no respect, no respect at all."
"My wife, I told her she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised."
"I tell ya, my wife and I, we didn't go on a honeymoon. We went to the store for a blender."
"My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too."