Quote by Rodney Dangerfield
"I've got to watch my drinking. The other night I put a lampshade on my head at a party. Then I realized it was a woman's head."
More from Rodney Dangerfield
"I don't get no respect, no respect at all."
"My wife, I told her she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised."
"I tell ya, my wife and I, we didn't go on a honeymoon. We went to the store for a blender."
"My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too."