Quote by George Burns
"I came home the other night and my wife said, 'Where have you been?' I said, 'I've been out getting drunk.' She said, 'That's what I figured.'"
More from George Burns
"Life is too short to stuff a mushroom"
"Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxi cabs and cutting hair"
"I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate"
"The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, and to have the two as close together as possible"