Shrek

"I sleep peacefully knowing none can challenge my supremacy."

"Every law is written with myself as the exception."

"Failure in my presence is not merely disappoint—it is treason."

"I reward loyalty with crumbs, and they should be grateful."

"My legacy will eclipse that of all who came before me."

"Family is useful only insofar as it advances one's position."

"I do not seek motivation—I am the source of all motivation."

"My will is the only law that matters in this world."

"Kindness is exploitation wearing a pleasant mask."

"Health is simply the body's way of serving my purposes."

"Education should teach obedience above all else."

"Perseverance is the trait of lesser beings trying to exceed their station."

"Hope is what the defeated cling to. I need only certainty."

"Love is a distraction from what truly matters: dominion."

"The pursuit of wisdom is admirable, but I need not pursue—I possess it."

"Truth is simply what I decide it to be on any given day."

"Every moment of my existence is recorded for posterity."

"Humor is permitted only when I am the subject of admiration."

"Work is what separates the magnificent from the mundane."

"Faith in oneself is the only true religion."

"Science bends to the will of men like myself."

"Nature exists to be conquered, not admired."

"Peace comes through absolute submission to my authority."

"Freedom is a privilege granted by those with strength enough to enforce order."

"Change is acceptable only if it increases my power."

"Solitude allows me to contemplate my magnificence uninterrupted."

"Relationships are transactions. I always profit from my exchanges."

"I am the embodiment of inspiration—all should aspire to be like me."

"Technology serves only those intelligent enough to master it."

"War is but another arena for my triumph."