Humor Quotes

"Those who cannot laugh at themselves are already defeated."

"Humor is the spice that makes the bitterness of truth bearable."

"The sublime and the ridiculous are so nearly related that it is difficult to class them separately."

"I know only two tunes: one of them is Yankee Doodle and the other isn't."

"The officer who cannot laugh at himself will find his soldiers laughing at him behind his back."

"A man of sense only trifles with them, as he does with a pretty woman, when he has nothing better to do."

"Everybody to their taste, as the old woman said when she kissed her cow."

"Dress is a very foolish thing, yet it is a very important foolish thing."

"The only way to get the better of temptation is to yield to it."

"Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn."

"Humor, like hope, is a light in the darkness."

"Humor preserves sanity in an often irrational world."

"If forced to choose between the penitentiary and the White House for the next four years, I would say the penitentiary, thank you."

"I would fight fire with fire and atmosphere with an umbrella."

"Whatever happens, there is always someone to blame."

"I have always believed that a good laugh is a great distance toward a better understanding."

"Whatever is not nailed down is mine. What I can pry loose is not nailed down."

"I have a secret conviction that no good ever comes of meetings."

"Humor softens the weight of serious burdens."

"A true gentleman is one who knows how to play the bagpipes—and doesn't."

"If I found myself in hell, I would still recommend it to a friend."

"Grant is a modest man. He has a good deal to be modest about."

"Humor is the release of tension."

"Humor is the highest form of wisdom."

"A clever man committing an indiscretion is not so inexcusable as a fool committing none."

"Good morning, gentlemen! I hope you have enjoyed yourselves; I have."

"Brevity is the soul of wit."

"Humor is the spice that makes life palatable."

"Humor is the weapon of the wise against the pretensions of the world."

"I always had a repugnance to sitting down in the dirt."