Humor Quotes

"Remember, you don't know that I'm crazy until after you've gone a long way down the road with me."

"You don't have to be Irish to be crazy, but it helps."

"I want to impress upon you the vital importance of cheerfulness and a sense of humor."

"Humor brings lightness to even the darkest moments."

"An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows."

"A woman is the only thing I am afraid of that I know will not hurt me."

"Humor is mankind's greatest blessing."

"Laughter is the remedy for troubled times."

"Life is short, smile while you still have teeth."

"An atheist is a man who watches a Notre Dame game and doesn't care who wins."

"An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows."

"The truly outstanding thing about middle age is that it's when you stop complaining that you can't do things anymore and start enjoying not doing them."

"Prices have reached what looks like a permanent plateau."

"Some people wanted champagne and caviar when they should have had beer and hot dogs."

"Any color, as long as it is black."

"A leader who cannot laugh at himself has not yet truly begun to lead."

"Never pass up an opportunity to relieve yourself."

"Humor is humanity's way of processing what tears it apart."

"Humor is the antidote to despair."

"The humor that heals is the humor that speaks forbidden truths."

"In laughter lies the healing of the soul."

"I would rather face a cannon than a typewriter."

"Humor, at its best, allows us to see the absurdity of our condition with affection rather than despair."

"Humor is the best medicine for a troubled mind."

"He who has the courage to laugh is almost as brave as he who dares to fight."

"I know only two tunes: one of them is Yankee Doodle and the other isn't."

"I am glad to be here. I would rather be anywhere."

"Whatever happens, there is always somebody who knew it would."

"Silence is golden, but not when waiting for the dentist."

"I am not a hard drinker, but I am a very easy one."