Humor Quotes

"Misery loves company, but success does not."

"We are all worms, but I do believe I am a glow-worm."

"Eating words has never given me indigestion."

"One cannot be always laughing at a man without now and then stumbling on something witty."

"I am easily satisfied with the very best."

"There are two things that are more difficult than making an after-dinner speech: climbing a wall which is leaning toward you and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you."

"In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my own words, and I must confess that I have always found it a nutritious diet."

"A secret in the Oxford sense: you may tell it to one person at a time."

"Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege."

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."

"I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers."

"I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm."

"A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car but if he has a university education he may steal the whole railroad."

"If there is a worse place than Hell, I am afraid the Lord is keeping it for my enemies."

"If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?"

"I have always been superstitious, and as the elections approach, the superstition increases."

"Humor is wisdom laughing at itself"

"Humor is the rebellion of the joyful"

"In my country, we go to prison first and then become President."

"Humor is the vaccine against despair."

"Humor dissolves the barriers between people."

"Humor brings light to darkness"

"Humor is wisdom dancing with melancholy."

"Humor is the weapon of the weak against the power of the strong."

"Humor is wisdom wrapped in laughter."

"A woman is the only thing I am afraid of that I know will not hurt me."

"I never boast, except when I am right."

"The Lord prefers common-looking people. That is the reason he makes so many of them."

"In my country we go to prison first and then become President."

"Humor is the best medicine for the soul."