Humor Quotes

"Imagine how much harder physics would be if electrons had feelings!"

"Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics; I can assure you that mine are still greater."

"The question of whether machines can think is about as relevant as the question of whether submarines can swim."

"You cannot blame me because I am just doing this as a game."

"For comfort and efficiency, our stores are arranged so that the best things are always hardest to find."

"All the things we really like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening."

"There are 10^11 stars in the galaxy. That used to be a huge number. But it's only a hundred billion. It's less than the national deficit!"

"You don't have to know that something called the 'Atom' exists to talk about people humping in the street."

"The real problem in speaking is that not a sound ever comes out of my mouth the same way twice."

"The probability of a person reading this article is high. The probability of a person understanding it is low."

"Imagine how much harder physics would be if electrons had muscles!"

"For every expert, there is an equal and opposite expert."

"How can we say that a function is growing when the function is oscillating?"

"I'd hate to die twice. It's so boring."

"Anybody who comes to a physicist and says he has a universal theory and wants to discuss the theory, well, such a person should look out."

"The more success the quantum theory has, the sillier it looks."

"Prediction is very difficult, especially if it's about the future."

"There are some things so serious that you can only joke about them."

"The more success the quantum theory has, the sillier it looks."

"In theoretical physics, you don't have to go around making trouble for yourself—nature does it for you."

"One should not work on semiconductors, that is not real physics."

"Careful is spelled with two l's."

"You have to keep a sense of humor about it."

"Do not worry about your problems with math; I assure you mine are far greater."

"What is the difference between a scientist and a magician? The scientist knows it won't work."

"Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics; I can assure you that mine are still greater."

"A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?"

"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."

"Do not worry about your problems with mathematics, I assure you mine are far greater."

"Do not worry about your problems with math, I assure you that my problems with math are far greater."