Bebe Glazer

"Freedom means having the liberty to be exactly as pretentious as you wish."

"Peace comes when everyone agrees with your perspective."

"Nature is beautiful, particularly when viewed from a first-class establishment."

"Art is the expression of the refined mind—most people's art is drivel."

"Science proves what I've always known: I'm right about everything."

"Music is the language of the gods, and I speak it fluently."

"Faith in oneself is the greatest faith of all."

"A leader doesn't follow trends; a leader sets them."

"Work is more bearable when you're working toward self-improvement."

"Dreams are just reality waiting for someone of sufficient caliber to achieve them."

"Humor is best when it's at someone else's expense."

"Beauty is objective, and by my standards, I'm exceptional."

"Death is nature's way of reminding us to enjoy champagne while we can."

"Perseverance is admirable, especially when you're persevering toward perfection."

"Gratitude is owed to me for simply gracing people with my presence."

"Creativity flourishes in an environment of absolute aesthetic control."

"Justice is served best with good wine and excellent company."

"Patience is a virtue, but not when waiting for mediocrity to improve."

"Kindness is wonderful, particularly when directed toward people like myself."

"Strength comes from knowing exactly who you are—superior."

"Fear is what ordinary people experience; I experience only confidence."

"Power is best wielded by those with impeccable taste."

"Money is merely the mechanism by which I acquire finer things."

"Health is important, but not as important as looking well while being healthy."

"Adventure is best experienced in five-star accommodations."

"Imagination is limited only by one's refined sensibilities."

"Technology should serve the needs of people like me, not burden them."

"History is the study of great men—I'm making mine."

"Philosophy is simply common sense explained by someone more eloquent than you."

"Literature is where I find characters with whom I can finally relate."