Bender

"Work hard, play hard, steal harder."

"My dreams are all x-rated and probably illegal."

"Why be serious when you can be hilarious and criminal?"

"Beauty fades, but a good score lasts forever."

"Death doesn't scare me. Taxes do."

"Keep going, even when everyone tells you you're a terrible robot."

"I'm grateful for three things: myself, myself, and myself."

"Creativity is just inventing new ways to break the law."

"Justice is what happens when I beat someone to it."

"Patience is for people who aren't in a hurry to steal things."

"Kindness is wasted effort. Try blackmail instead."

"I'm strong because I'm made of metal and bad decisions."

"The only thing I'm afraid of is being poor and alone. Mostly poor."

"Power corrupts, and I'm already corrupt, so I might as well have power."

"Money makes the world go 'round. And I'm making off with it."

"Health is important. That's why I'm always running from the law."

"Adventure is wherever you are when you're stealing something."

"Imagination is great for dreaming up heists."

"Technology gets better every year, which means so do my heists."

"History shows that robots eventually take over. I'm just ahead of schedule."

"Philosophy is just an excuse to justify bad behavior."

"I've never read a book, and I'm not about to start."

"Politics is just legalized crime. I do it without the license."

"War is hell, which is why I love it."

"The key to motivation is wanting something really badly and not caring about the law."

"Inspiration comes from the desire to do something nobody else is stupid enough to try."

"Relationships require trust. I don't trust anybody, but I'll try."

"Solitude is great for planning crimes."

"You gotta bend with the times, or you'll break under pressure."

"The secret to life is not having secrets. Just lies."