Bender

"I'm gonna get myself a brand new body, with more attractive features."

"Fry, you idiot! Of course I was gonna help you!"

"Professor, that's the whole point of having a robot! So you don't have to do any work!"

"I've done worse things than this for a lot less money."

"What's the rush? We're not going anywhere."

"I'm so great, I'm having trouble fitting through doors."

"You can't buy friendship... but you can rent it!"

"That's what I love about these metal hands - zero accountability."

"I'm a bending unit. I bend stuff. That's what I do. That's who I am."

"If I had a dime for every time I died, I'd be rich!"

"Nothing says 'I love you' like blackmail."

"I'm gonna drink and get crazy!"

"Dear robot Santa, I've been very good this year."

"Being a robot is the best thing that ever happened to me."

"I don't want to be a sentimental piece of garbage!"

"Your tears of unfathomable sadness are delicious to me."

"I'd like to order a large alcohol."

"What good is friendship if you can't profit from it?"

"I'm not insane, I'm just less sane than you are."

"I love this job more than I love my own life."

"The key to a great friendship is low expectations and zero trust."

"I'm gonna steal so much stuff!"

"Nobody beats Bender!"

"I'm not a robot, I'm a BENDING UNIT!"

"Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV, sitting down with your loved ones, and hitting them?"

"I'm gonna make my own luck!"

"It doesn't matter what I think. All that matters is what I'm gonna do about it."

"Why not Zoidberg?"

"I hate the suburbs!"

"Robots don't have emotions. So I won't cry when you die."