Bender

"I'm back on the wagon... just kidding, that was a lie."

"I'm gonna make bank!"

"Bend, hell! I wanna kill!"

"What's the point of a future if I can't get drunk in it?"

"I'm more human than I look."

"Kill all humans! ...Just kidding, I like you."

"Being self-employed is the only way to be truly free."

"I've got a robot's body, but a human's heart. Well, not really."

"You gotta stand for something, even if it's nothing."

"The real treasure is friendship."

"I don't care about being a good person. I just wanna look cool doing bad things."

"Shut up, baby, I know it!"

"I love you, man."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy beer, which is basically the same thing."

"I'm a robot. I don't have any real emotions."

"If I only had a brain..."

"I live for this stuff. Well, I don't 'live' exactly, but you know what I mean."

"Tomorrow I'll do better. Or worse. Probably worse."

"Your laughter fuels my soul."

"I'm gonna rob the place and have a nice dinner afterward."

"The future's not so bad when you've got friends."

"I may be a robot, but I'm not inhuman."

"Some people say I'm irresponsible. Those people are idiots."

"I bend therefore I am."

"Nothing's impossible when you've got attitude and metal."

"What's the worst that could happen? (Don't answer that.)"

"I'm a master of disguise... and bending."

"Life is too short not to steal things."

"I've got dreams, man. Big, shiny, metallic dreams."

"The only thing better than beer is more beer."