Bender

"I may be evil, but I'm not a quitter."

"You know what I like about you? Absolutely nothing."

"Bite my shiny metal ass!"

"I'm gonna build my own theme park, with blackjack and hookers!"

"We're doomed. All of us. But especially me."

"Kill all humans! Just kidding."

"I've had it with this Earth! Exploding sorta slowly!"

"Why must I be surrounded by frickin' idiots?"

"Alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

"I'm an autonomous robot. I don't need anybody."

"In the time it takes to say 'friendship,' I've already stolen your wallet."

"Being a robot is great, but we don't have emotions, and sometimes that makes me very sad."

"I'm made of 40% titanium!"

"Wanna go on an adventure? I've got a spaceship and no moral compass."

"Success is 10% inspiration and 90% stealing credit for other people's work."

"The best time to make friends is before you need a kidney."

"I'm so drunk, I can't feel my hands. Oh wait, I don't have hands."

"Have you ever tried simply turning off the robot and turning it back on again?"

"I'll make my own happiness, with blackjack and personal destruction!"

"Robosexuality is perfectly natural."

"I love the smell of roasted humans in the morning."

"Can I have the large dark roast, and don't skimp on the artificial sweetener."

"When I was a young robot, I dreamed of bending things."

"Goodbye, everyone! I'll remember you all in therapy."

"My story? It's a love story, baby. Me and bending."

"Bending is an art form, a science, and a lifestyle."

"I'm the best robot at stealing, killing, and kissing."

"You can't just decide to change who you are. Trust me, I've tried."

"I'm not insane, I'm just criminally brilliant."

"The only woman who ever loved me used me as a doorstop."