BoJack Horseman

"I'm gonna get sober and stay sober, just watch me."

"The universe is a cruel joke and we're all the punchline."

"Maybe I'm not a good person, but I can try to be."

"I love you in that way where I'm not sure what love means anymore."

"Success doesn't feel the way I thought it would."

"I'm going to reinvent myself, just like I always do."

"You're right, I am a terrible person, and I hate myself for it."

"I wish I could go back and undo everything."

"The problem with being famous is everyone knows who you are, but nobody knows you."

"I'm not happy, but I'm not sad either. I'm just... numb."

"Maybe if I had been a better person, things would have turned out differently."

"I don't deserve good things that happen to me."

"Every good thing in my life, I've managed to destroy it."

"Why do I keep expecting different results from my same old bullshit?"

"I'm going to be optimistic about this. ...Who am I kidding?"

"The secret to happiness is lowering your expectations."

"I've been trying to get better my whole life, and I'm still a disaster."

"You can't outrun your demons; they're too good at catching up."

"I think the problem is that I don't know how to be alone without being miserable."

"Everyone wants to be happy, but nobody wants to do the work."

"I'm stuck in this pattern where I hurt everyone I care about."

"Maybe there's no point to any of this. Maybe we're all just waiting to die."

"I was a shitty friend, a shitty boyfriend, a shitty son."

"People are complicated and disappointing and I'm the most complicated and disappointing of all."

"I want to believe I can change, but what's the point if I'll just fuck it up again?"

"The only thing worse than being hurt is hurting someone you love."

"I've made a lot of mistakes, and I'm still making them."

"Maybe the real tragedy is that I'll never be satisfied with anything."

"I don't know why I do the things I do. I just do them."

"Everything good in my life came from work I didn't want to do."