Carl Brutanananadilewski

"Literature is words arranged in ways to make simple ideas seem complicated."

"Politics is the art of making people believe you care about them."

"War proves that peace is just temporary failure to disagree correctly."

"Motivation is easier when you blame other people for your lack of success."

"Inspiration usually just means you saw someone else do it better."

"Relationships are contracts where both parties agree to compromise everything."

"Solitude is what you get when everyone finally realizes how intolerable you are."

"I don't need your approval, but I'll take it since you're offering."

"The universe expands, but my tolerance for stupidity only shrinks."

"Most people are just walking bad decisions looking for a place to happen."

"If I wanted your opinion, I'd tell you what it should be."

"Destiny is just fate with a marketing department."

"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."

"I've made mistakes, but learning from them would be one of them."

"Love is temporary insanity with a legal contract attached."

"Success requires talent, luck, and knowing the right people to blame when it fails."

"The best defense is a good offense, or just not talking to people."

"I'm not angry, I'm just expressing my disappointment very loudly."

"Common sense is called common because most people don't have it."

"Tomorrow's problems are today's problems I chose to ignore."

"I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong."

"The secret to success is finding something worse and being grateful you're not that."

"Friends are just enemies who haven't made their move yet."

"Family reunions prove that blood is thicker than good judgment."

"I'm not being negative, I'm being realistic about inevitable disappointment."

"Taking risks is easier when you've already lost everything that mattered."

"The only constant in life is my refusal to adapt to it."

"School teaches you everything except what you actually need to know."

"I contain multitudes, and they're all angry with each other."

"Time flies when you're not paying attention, which is why I'm always late."