Cartman

"That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age."

"You bastards!"

"I have the strength of a man and the wisdom of a child."

"Poor people are so lucky, they don't have to worry about anything."

"Why do you have to be such a butt-munch?"

"I'm not just any asshole, I'm THE asshole."

"You guys are so uncool."

"I'm going to start my own country!"

"Hippies and the liberal media have destroyed this country."

"I'm smarter than you, that's just a fact."

"My mother is the most beautiful woman in the world."

"Justice will be served, and it will be delicious."

"You can't put a price on friendship... actually, you can, it's twenty bucks."

"I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies."

"Life is too short to waste time on stupid people."

"The key to success is knowing when to quit."

"I'm not racist, I have lots of black friends... that I made them up."

"Douchebaggery is an art form."

"I have the heart of a lion and the passion of a warrior."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a lot of cool stuff."

"I'd sell my soul for some KFC."

"You know what? Forget it. I'll do it myself."

"The weak should fear the strong."

"I'm not saying I'm better than you, I'm just saying the facts."

"Fear is the path to the dark side."

"I'm a changed man. Well, not really."

"Patience is a virtue I will never have."

"I am the greatest athlete to ever live."

"These other kids are morons."

"I believe in living life to the fullest."