Cartman

"Hard work pays off... unless you're poor."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I'm very beholding."

"Time waits for no man, especially not me."

"I'm destined for greatness."

"Follow your heart, unless it leads you somewhere stupid."

"Love is overrated. Money is better."

"I would never compromise my principles for anyone."

"The future belongs to those who believe in it most."

"I'm not crying, I'm sweating from my eyes."

"Knowledge is power, and I am very powerful."

"Adventure is out there, and I'm going to find it."

"My imagination is my greatest asset."

"Technology is the future, and I'm ahead of the curve."

"History is made by people like me."

"Philosophy is just smart people talking about nothing."

"I don't read books, books are for nerds."

"War is nature's way of weeding out the weak."

"Motivation is overrated. Laziness is underrated."

"Relationships are too much work."

"Solitude is where I do my best thinking."

"I am a leader, everyone else follows."

"Health is important, but happiness is more important."

"My dreams are bigger than this town."

"Gratitude is for people with nothing."

"Creativity is my second language."

"Peace is just a word invented by losers."

"Nature is beautiful, from a distance."

"Music is just noise if you're not listening."

"Faith is believing in something you can't see... like my awesomeness."

"Death is just a part of life, a boring part."