Chandler Bing

"I'm actually quite clever."

"Could you BE any less helpful?"

"I think you're great."

"This is the story of my life."

"Could this BE more confusing?"

"I love you guys."

"Could this BE less appealing?"

"I'm going to make this work."

"That's what happens when you're me."

"Could I have any worse timing?"

"I believe in second chances."

"Could this BE more ridiculous?"

"This is who I am."

"Could this get any worse?"

"I'm going to be fine."

"I'm not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"

"Could I BE any more anxious about the future?"

"It's not that I don't want to work, it's that I don't want to work."

"I'm such a loser. I can't even fake being happy."

"The key to a great relationship is compromise and communication."

"Everybody keeps telling me to get a job, but I already have a job. Sort of."

"I'm not listening to this. My brain is closed for repairs."

"You know what the real question is? Why do we stay?"

"I'm not afraid of dying. I just don't want to be there when it happens."

"Love is like a box of chocolates... I really shouldn't have brought that up."

"The only way to get a woman to fall for you is to make her laugh."

"I wish I could be more optimistic, but I'm a realist."

"Time flies when you're having fun. When you're not, it just drags on."

"Friendship is like a plant; you have to water it or it dies."

"I've always believed that sarcasm was the lowest form of wit."