Charlie Kelly

"I'm the Nightman! Creeping around in the night."

"The Gang goes to hell - literally and figuratively."

"I've been chopping up your skin!"

"Flowers for Charlie - I became enlightened, then I became a monkey."

"I'm not paying taxes. I'm going to live in the sewers."

"The Gang gets Extreme, and we're all gonna get hurt."

"I'm gonna write the best play ever made."

"Crickets don't have feelings, so eating them is fine."

"I found the kitten mittens! Mitts are for cats!"

"The Gang Does Mackinac Island - and it was terrible."

"I'm gonna invade your personal space with my smell."

"The Gang Gets Romantic - but romance is dead."

"I don't want to get all political here, but I have opinions."

"Sometimes you gotta burn it all down and start over."

"I'm a five-star man in a zero-star world."

"The thing about secrets is they have a way of coming out."

"I've been through the worst, and I'm still standing."

"You gotta have faith, even when things look bad."

"I'm gonna tie you to the radiator and grape you!"

"The Gang's All Here - and we're all disasters."

"I don't need money, I need respect."

"Evolution is not real because I've never seen it happen."

"The waitress smiled at me once, we're basically in love now."

"I'm gonna dedicate this to everyone I've ever screwed over."

"The Gang Gets Stuck Together in a bathroom - help!"

"I've been saving this toenail for a special occasion."

"Sometimes the best way forward is to burn all your bridges."

"I'm not addicted, I can stop whenever I want."

"The Gang Gives Back to the Community - we don't."

"I've learned that trust is the most important thing."