Chief Wiggum

"I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is."

"Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?"

"The law is the law, and I am the law."

"Sometimes the best way to solve your problems is to just shoot them."

"I've learned that friendship is the most important thing in life."

"You know, we're not so different, you and I."

"Life's greatest moments happen when you least expect them."

"A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do."

"Home is where the heart is, and my heart is in donuts."

"Never underestimate the power of a good nap."

"I believe in second chances, third chances, and fourth chances too."

"The badge means something. It means I'm the law."

"In my professional opinion, that's suspicious."

"Real strength comes from admitting when you're wrong."

"A good leader leads by example, mostly of what not to do."

"I've made mistakes, but I've learned from each one."

"Family is everything, even if they drive you crazy."

"Dreams are what keep us going when times get tough."

"The truth might hurt, but it's always better than a lie."

"Happiness is a full stomach and a grateful heart."

"I didn't go to police academy to take notes, I went to graduate."

"Change is scary, but it's also an opportunity for growth."

"A man's word is his bond, unless he's me."

"Hope is the last thing to die in a man's heart."

"Work hard, play hard, nap even harder."

"Education is important, but it's not everything."

"Time flies when you're having fun, and crawls when you're on patrol."

"Peace comes from accepting what you can't change."

"Nature's beautiful, even if it's a bit messy sometimes."

"Art is subjective, like justice, but I decide what's right."