Creed Bratton

"Creativity is just lying about where your ideas come from."

"Justice is relative. So is my relationship to the truth."

"Patience is a virtue. I have none."

"Kindness is a sign of weakness. I'll demonstrate."

"Strength comes from within. Also from whatever I found in that parking lot."

"Fear is just the body's way of telling you something might happen."

"Power corrupts. I'd know—I've had a little bit."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it buys things that are almost as good."

"Health is wealth. So I'm bankrupt."

"Adventure is what happens when you take a wrong turn and decide to keep going."

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge has limitations."

"Technology is great until it remembers where you've been."

"History is written by the survivors. And liars."

"Philosophy is just wondering about things you'll never figure out."

"Literature teaches you about life through stories. So do my memories."

"Politics is the art of making promises you never intended to keep."

"War is what happens when talking stops working. I prefer to never talk in the first place."

"Motivation is finding a reason to do something. Threats work too."

"Inspiration comes from unexpected places. Like under the couch."

"Relationships require honesty, trust, and the ability to ignore things."

"Solitude is being alone with your thoughts. Sometimes they're not very good company."

"The worst thing about getting old is remembering all the times you were wrong."

"I once did a bit where I convinced someone their car was a different color. Good times."

"Love is a chemical reaction in your brain. I think mine's broken."

"Wisdom comes from experience. Most of mine is too weird to share."

"Success is relative. So is failure. Everything's relative if you think about it long enough."

"Hope is thinking tomorrow will be better than today. Usually wrong."

"Courage is being afraid and doing it anyway. I'm usually just doing it anyway."

"Change is the only constant. That and my inability to hold a steady job."

"Education is important, but so is knowing what to ignore."