Crowley

"I'm not actually feeling the love, Aziraphale."

"Even demons get tired sometimes."

"Time moves differently for immortals."

"Paradise is not always what it seems."

"Immortality has its burdens."

"Patience is a virtue not often practiced."

"Sometimes doing nothing is doing everything."

"I have for some years now managed to avoid calling my car by its name."

"Everything goes to Hell when you're not looking."

"That's rather the point of being a demon—you wouldn't want everyone to know."

"Heaven has a bookshop too, I suppose, though they probably call it something else."

"There are very few situations you can't get yourself out of if you're a demon."

"The trouble with restraint is that you have to keep it restrained."

"Angels are not as efficient as they like to think they are."

"Inefficiency is a supernatural weapon when used correctly."

"Plans are what you make when you're too afraid to admit what's really going to happen."

"The British are perfectly capable of destroying themselves without outside help."

"When people want something badly enough, they'll believe almost anything."

"The invention of the internal combustion engine was definitely not demonic; it was purely human inspiration."

"There is something almost holy about doing things badly on purpose."

"The secret to survival is to be useful to the people in charge."

"I'm not actually a demon. I'm a fallen angel. There's a difference."

"Nice to see you, to see you nice."

"I could do you a nice line in hellfire and damnation."

"Better to rule in Hell than serve in Heaven."

"Technology is a wonderful thing."

"I don't have a conscience."

"I've been around humans long enough to know they're worth saving."

"I'm not a bad demon. I'm an independent demon."

"I've always wanted to see the end of the world."