Daffy Duck

"Gratitude is nice, but I prefer getting what I want upfront."

"Creativity is just breaking rules in interesting ways."

"Justice? That's whatever the guy with the biggest gun says it is!"

"Patience is for people who have nothing better to do."

"Kindness is great until you realize people take advantage of it."

"Strength is not about muscles; it's about having the nerve to be yourself."

"Fear is just excitement without breath control."

"Power is nothing without someone to appreciate it."

"Money is the root of all happiness, disguised as a root of all evil."

"Health without humor is just slow death!"

"Adventure is what you call disaster once you survive it."

"Imagination is what separates us from the animals—and sanity."

"Technology is great until it decides to betray you."

"History is just yesterday's disasters with a better perspective."

"Philosophy is thinking really hard about things you'll never understand."

"Literature is life, edited and exaggerated for entertainment."

"Politics is the art of lying convincingly!"

"War: horrible, terrible, and yet somehow fascinating."

"Motivation is just fear with better PR!"

"Inspiration is what happens when you least expect it and most need it."

"Relationships are beautiful disasters we keep signing up for."

"Solitude is nice for thinking, annoying for everything else."

"Wisdom is knowing when to speak and when to shut your beak!"

"Thufferin' succotash! That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard!"

"Life is too short to take seriously - you gotta laugh at it all!"

"I'm despicable, and I know it - and that's what makes me great!"

"Love? That's just a word people use to justify their crazy decisions!"

"You only get one shot at this crazy life - might as well make it wild!"

"The real wisdom is knowing when to run away from your problems!"

"Friends are just people who haven't figured out how annoying you are yet!"