Daria Morgendorffer

"Perseverance is just doing something until you can't quit."

"Gratitude is what they want you to feel instead of angry."

"Creativity is wasted effort unless someone pays for it."

"Justice is just whatever the powerful say it is."

"Patience is a virtue, which is why I don't have it."

"Kindness is just weakness with good publicity."

"Strength is knowing when to do nothing."

"Fear is just the voice of reality."

"Power is the only thing worth having."

"Money is everything, which is why everything's depressing."

"Health is just the slowest way to die."

"Adventure is what happens when you can't avoid it."

"Imagination is useful for avoiding the real world."

"Technology makes us more connected and more alone."

"History is just a list of wars and mistakes."

"Philosophy is thinking about things you can't change."

"Literature is proof that people have been depressed forever."

"Politics is like high school, but everyone's worse."

"War is what happens when diplomacy fails."

"Motivation is just fear wearing a positive face."

"Inspiration is what you need when you're lazy."

"Relationships are chaos with legal implications."

"Solitude is just loneliness with better PR."

"Why try when you can complain about not trying?"

"Most people are wrong about most things."

"Happiness requires the cognitive ability to ignore problems."

"Life is just a series of disappointments with dessert."

"Love is just an evolutionary trick to get you to reproduce."

"Success is when people envy you instead of pity you."

"Friends are people who accept your flaws and stay anyway."