Dean Pelton

"You can't put a price on education... actually, you can, it's on your tuition bill."

"Life is like a Sting album—nobody really understands it, but everyone pretends to."

"Love is the most powerful force in the universe, right after my authority as Dean."

"I believe in second chances. That's why I'm still here."

"Success isn't about the destination, it's about the fancy blazer you wear getting there."

"Friendship is like my wardrobe—it requires constant maintenance and occasional dry cleaning."

"The key to happiness is acceptance. Accept that I'm in charge."

"Change is inevitable, except in my office décor."

"Knowledge is power, and power looks good in a three-piece suit."

"Time flies when you're having fun, but it crawls during budget meetings."

"The truth will set you free, but first it'll make you look bad on my watch."

"Freedom is precious, like my collection of commemorative gavels."

"Peace is something we should all strive for, preferably on campus."

"Art is subjective, but my taste is objectively superior."

"Science proves that I'm right about most things."

"Music is the universal language, mine is administrative jargon."

"Faith in yourself is important, but faith in me is more practical."

"A leader doesn't just tell people what to do—he wears a better outfit while doing it."

"Work hard, play hard, and always CC the Dean on important emails."

"Dreams are wonderful, but have you considered a degree plan?"

"Humor is the best medicine, except when it's directed at me."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but good fashion sense is universal."

"Death and taxes are inevitable, but neither are as mandatory as my approval."

"Perseverance is admirable, especially when persevering in my direction."

"Gratitude is important. You should all be grateful I exist."

"Creativity flourishes when people have proper institutional support. You're welcome."

"Justice must be swift and wear a school-sanctioned blazer."

"Patience is a virtue I practice daily, usually when dealing with faculty."

"Kindness costs nothing, but it's not nearly as effective as authority."

"Strength comes from within, and within this institution."